“How to Make My Cat Love Me?” 12 Ways to Earn Your Cat’s Affection

by Monika
How to make my cat love me

How to make my cat love me?” A question many cat owners ask know when they get a new cat. We all want to cuddle and love our new furry child instantly but sometimes it takes time for the kitty to relax around us and like us.

Maybe you’ve had a cat for a while but they are still not showing positive feelings towards you. Depending on the kitty’s past experiences with humans, they might need more or less time to become your best friend.

Luckily, there’s always something you can do to win over your kitty’s heart. If you want to speed up the “liking” process, look at my list of 12 things you can do to make your cat love you more!

Be a reliable food bringer, water supplier and a litter box cleaner

There is nothing a cat appreciates more than getting their food delivered into their bowl on a daily basis. If you regularly feed them, provide water and clean their toilet, they will probably like you sooner or later. Our kitties are big fans of a clean toilet so if you can scoop the litter box at least once a day, your cat will appreciate it.

Be patient and let them set the pace

If you got a new kitty and they are not your biggest fan yet, don’t worry. You’ll have to be patient with them until they trust you. Don’t push it and be respectful of their current limits. If the cat is not yet ready to be all cuddly with you, don’t force them. Instead, try to gain their trust one day at a time. A feline will be more open with you when the time comes and it will happen sooner if you follow your cat’s pace instead of forcing them into befriending you.

Be considerate, respectful, and gentle

If your cat is being naughty, the last thing you should do is yell at them with a maximum volume. Cats don’t see yelling as a consequence of their own naughty actions and this can only scare them away and make them like you less. When your kitty is misbehaving, always opt for a positive reinforcement instead of punishment and yell.

Play with your cat and spend quality time with them

How to win your cat's affection

Spend time with them and cuddle them on their terms – don’t just grab them and put them on your lap. Let the cat come to you and then snuggle and spoil them all you want. When they’re ready, they’ll approach you on their own because of the positive experiences.

Give them enough space and privacy

Cats love to have time for themselves too. Allow your cat to get away from everyone occasionally, to enjoy their time alone. Although it’s important to spend time with your cat, there has to be a time when your feline can enjoy peace and quiet.

Privacy is also important during their toilet time. A lot of kitties don’t like to do their business in a busy room, with lots of traffic and movement around. Find a hidden corner to place your kitty’s toilet so they can pee and poop away from the human eyeballs. If there’s no place that could offer more privacy for your cat’s toilet time, use a small curtain or a piece of fabric to separate the litter box from the rest of the room.

Make them feel safe

It’s not easy being a cat. They are so easily startled and the smallest thing can stress them out! From seeing a cucumber on the floor to having an unknown person visit their home, all of it brings stress to our precious furry snowflakes.

If you want to earn your cat’s love, avoid doing things you know will scare the poop out of them. That includes things such as putting cucumbers behind their backs while they eat. Yes, it’s funny and it would make a hilarious, viral cat video but your cat doesn’t like it and we want them to feel as safe as possible in our home.

Don’t leave them alone for too long

Although super independent, cats don’t like to spend most of the day on their own. If nobody is home for most of the day, consider getting a new furry BFF for your cat. This wouldn’t work for all cats (for example, our Okica won’t tolerate other cats) but if your cat is more chill, she might just enjoy a company of a fellow fur friend. One thing to keep in mind if you get another cat is to introduce them slowly, over the course of a few days to minimize any potential issues or stress.

If getting another cat is not an option, try creating a schedule that will allow you to spend more time at home with your cat.

Treat them with the occasional treat

Cat treats to earn cat's love and affection

Who doesn’t enjoy a good treat? And who doesn’t love people who give them treats?

Reward your cat with a delicious kitty dessert from time to time to “buy” their love and make them happy along the way. You can even try making your own homemade cat treats.

Don’t be too loud or noisy around them

If it’s your nature to be loud and talk in a way that even the neighbors can hear you, there’s a big chance it makes your cat scared or uncomfortable. Cats are not the biggest fans of loud sounds and noisy things so consider lowering your voice for just a few decibels when talking to your cat. Your cat will appreciate it!

Other sounds that cats don’t like are loud music (no party with your cat in the room), sudden sounds such as thunder, fireworks, engines, and high-frequency sounds. You don’t have control over all the sounds that cats hate, but minimize those that you can control.

Monitor your cat’s behavior and act accordingly

Learn how to discern what your cat likes and dislikes, how they’re feeling and what is their current mood. It will make life with your furry bestie much easier. By understanding their behavior, you can react accordingly and it will be easier to correct their naughty endeavors.

For example, if your cat is being evil to you when you came home after an exhausting day working overtime, you’ll realize that maybe your cat is not simply being evil. Instead, they might be mad at you for leaving them home alone for the entire day. They missed you! Understanding these things will allow you to focus on your feline and spend quality time interacting and playing with them, instead of being mad at them.

Don’t “shoo” them away if they are sleeping in your spot

Making your cat love you more

Some people shoo away their pets if they are sitting in their chair or their favorite spot. If the cat is in the “forbidden” place such as the kitchen counter, then shoo away. But if your feline is sleeping in your chair or favorite part of the sofa why wake them up and make them move just so you can sit there?

I see my cat as a family member with equal rights as others so if they decided to sleep on my chair, I’m just going to let them and sit somewhere else. If they have to wake up and go somewhere else just because you want to sit where they are, they’ll not like it much.

Smell like catnip

It’s a known fact that most cats enjoy catnip. Various catnip products such as sprays or treats are used to lure the cat into using the litter box, a scratching post and to entice good behavior. If you apply some of this kitty stimulant on yourself, it will motivate your cat to approach you and they will associate you with something positive – the mighty catnip.


As long as you’re treating your cat well and providing for their kitty needs, I’m sure they’ll like you sooner or later. Give them time, spend quality time with them and they might just become your biggest fan!

Does your cat like you? What are your action steps to make them love you?

I’d love to read your experience in the comments, so don’t hesitate to comment!

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Monica L. Wilson January 24, 2019 - 8:50 pm

I found this website from Catster magazine and I need some advice…I have a cat with cancer and to keep him eating is tough. The one things he really loves is gravy. I have tons of Friskies with extra gravy canned cat food . He licks only the gravy out of his bowl and won’t really eat the meat. Does anyone have a kitty recipe for cats that is just gravy ? I am trying to keep his weight on, so if he wants to eat just gravy I’ll do it. He does love tuna but to get him to eat enough is a fight. I am hoping someone can help me with this. I do have a cookbook for cat food but no gravy recipe in it. HELP !!! THANK YOU !!!

Monika January 24, 2019 - 9:51 pm

Hi Monica. I’m sorry to hear about your kitty. I hope things will get better for you. I haven’t tried making a gravy for my cat so, unfortunately, I can’t help you with a recipe. But I’m not sure eating only gravy from the wet food is nutritional enough for the cat. I know that liver (as well as canned tuna) can stimulate a cat to eat. Although, cats shouldn’t eat tuna on a regular basis because of high levels of mercury it contains. I found a topic about making chicken broth for cats so that might be a good option for you: https://thecatsite.com/threads/i-need-instructions-on-how-to-make-broth-for-cats-very-simple-instructions.301643/ . There’s also chicken broth cat food in stores – that might be easier for your cat to eat than solid food.
BTW you can try heating up the cat food a little bit, maybe your cat will like it better that way. Also, if the cat only eats gravy, maybe you’d have more luck getting him/her to eat if you grind the food in the mixer to make it more gravy-like. If nothing helps, I hope your vet will know what to do.


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